My helpers

Start from young.. yes, when you are curious. Hoping this will last forever so that I can start to distribute the works soon. 

A Miracle Hug

It was a very touching moment to see the brotherly relationship between Didi and Koko. Recently, Didi has been quite demanding on the things that he wanted to have. (eg: chocolate). What I have done was just to leave him alone. Yes, alone crying, throwing his tantrums. The miracle happened. Didi found his way to console himself.

Last night, Didi was throwing his tantrums over the colour pencils that he shared with Koko. I was busy (busy watching my favorite movie, bad mom ha..) and I just left Didi alone. Suddenly, he just went up to hug Koko. 'Pau pau, pau pau'. Koko was stunt, but he just hug Didi in return. Since then, both of them become very good friends. Koko will share everything with Didi and Didi just stopped crying. Didi has a very sad running tear all over his face. When he hugged Koko, it was such a touching moment to see both of them clinging on each others arms. For almost the whole night, they were happy playing together. Didi kept on giving Koko a hug once awhile.

This morning, while Koko was crying for feeling very sleepy, Didi just went over and gave him a hug. Then, both of them were calmed down.

There was the same scenario for last week. Didi was crying loudly and I just left him alone. After couple of minutes, he just went to hug Koko and he just stopped crying. Koko is very caring whenever Didi hugs him. He will hold him and telling him to stop crying and will hold his hand going around the house.

It is so nice and happy to see both of them, building up a strong brotherly, friend relationship.

Boy's mom or Dad's girlfriend?

This scene has kept on coming to my mind and I still couldn't figure out who/what exactly the role of this lady should be. Last 2 weeks while waiting for Hubby to meet potential car buyer, we went to McD so that both of kids can occupied their time on the playground. While watching them running up and down on the slides, I noticed this family of 4 sitting by the side of the playground. I were watching them for quite long and I guess the mom noticed as well. I were almost staring at her, not able to control myself.

The grandmother (i guess from the father's side), 4-5yrs boy, the father and the mother (this is a mysterious woman for me, but I guess she is the mom since the boy looks so much like her). 4 of them were having their dinner. The grandma was busy feeding  porridge to the boy. The father was scolding the boy for not eating up. The mom was sitting far at the end, eating her fries and talking to the father. She didn't even take a look at the boy. Not to mention try to feed him, she has totally no physical/verbal/emotion contact with the boy.

We were there for ~30minutes and I just can't keep my eyes away from her. She is young and pretty lady. I was wondering if she is really the mom or is the father's girlfriend. I kept on looking at her, waiting for her to do something or talk to the little boy. Is she the mom? Why she'll just let the grandma feeds the boy and she was just enjoying her meal? The grandma was feeding herself and the boy at the same time. She looked happy and not distracted although the boy was throwing tantrum of not wanting to have the food. Only the grandma and father responded to the boy. Can a mom past the responsibility to the grandma? Is there some family conflict that cause her not to interact with the son? I just couldn't find a valid reason for a mom not to take care of the son when they are together.

I guess I'm just too busy body, but I just couldn't imagine a mom in this way. If only she is the mom...

Unconditional love

That's the love from a mom. No matter what has happen or what you have done, mom is still the best person ever that will stay with you forever. No question to it. She is the person who you can trust 100% with no doubt. I believe in this once I'm become the mom. I guess you'll never ever think to harm your kids on any way. Protecting them is what you try. Protecting = pampering? Yes and No probably.

Plus one more thing, mom words are always right. Although, sometimes Koko said 'no'.... and now Didi said 'no' too. It's hard to convince them on the thing that they like. If you tell Didi, you can only can have 2 chocolates for 1 day, he will said 'No'.

Koko and Didi has their own character, but one thing which is in common. They master the word 'Mai' very well. Now, Didi can clearly differentiate the word 'yes' and 'no'. Koko is a very caring boy if he wants to. Sometimes, he may be cheeky and mischievous. Both of them can give you a lot of surprises and unwanted outcome sometimes. When they became silent in the room, AHA...I got to quickly has a peek. Once I thought so relieved that both of them can stay so quietly in the room by themselves. Eventually, when I went in, I almost fainted. The powder was all over the bed, floor and on Didi's body. Koko was having so much fun do painting on Didi's body. For Didi, he was enjoying it too. For mom, it was a disaster to discover.

Koko learnt his lesson on the hard way, while Didi has a better observation and more sensitive to his environment. I can't say that Koko is been pampered more than Didi. For Koko, because hubby and I were a new parent, we tried our best to give the best to him. Guess from there, Koko is been more pampered. We explored with him together most of the time.

No matter what it is, both of them are still my very precious and will always be.. baby baby..

Persuasion & Influence

I just completed this training 2 days ago. The first question that I popped up to the instructor was 'Can I implement the tactics and skills on kids?'. The answer was 'Of course.' This keep me alive on the class and found it was so truth. One of the concept called expressive influence. It contains 4 parts - Tell, Sell, Negotiate and Enlist.

Part 1: Tell - express your needs. We always assume and yes, we need to assume especially for baby. Baby cries to express his/her needs. And he/she knows that by doing so, he/she will get your attention.

Part 2: Sell - give reasoning. This is the best part. Last week, during one of Koko colouring session at home, I told him to colour all the pictures, but then he just stop on the last picture and start packing up his book. So, I asked ' Why you didn't finish the colouring?' 'I can't colour anymore BECAUSE my hand is painful.' Koko stressed on the word 'because'. Now, Koko is very smart to give reasoning and always will purposely stress on the word 'because'. My question to the instructor was how i can counter back? Instead of them influencing me, how I can influence back. This is no easy.

Part 3: Negotiate- give incentive. I'm very good at this skill towards Koko and Didi. Koko buy in to that every time. Every morning to get Koko to wake up, I got to make promises. 'Mummy will buy cake for you later.' 'Do you want to have new toys?' 'Do you want your swimming costume' I got to make sure I find something that Koko likes then only he'll get up from his bed and feel excited about it. However, this skill will never get to Didi. You just can't bride Didi. No matter what he loves, he'll not do things on your way. He is the guy 'My way only.'

Part 4: Enlist - encourage/envision. This tactic work well with both Koko and Didi. Whenever, both of them are having lunch/dinner, Daddy will encourage them. 'Wow, big mouth. Very good boy'. If you spoke to Didi, and Koko heard it, he will do the same thing and prove to you, he is a good boy too. So does Didi.

We have been practicing the skills everyday, either you notice it or you don't. This is a very important skill to be mastered by everyone.

A few good quotes:-
'Pause to reflect. Take 1 step backward to move 3 steps forward.'
'People may be persuaded by reason but they are moved by emotion.'
'With great power came great responsibilities.'
'What you do before you do, that's matter.'

Lastly, the best learning - using the word 'will' instead of 'can'. I always asked Koko 'Can you please listen?' It just doesn't work with him. Then last night, I asked him ' Will you please listen?' Guess what, Koko just smile and look at me, instead of his usual way of throwing tantrum.